Taeo's Birth
2010
1st birth
Lived in: Hokinaga
WHERE WAS YOUR PLANNED PLACE OF BIRTH?
Home Birth
WHERE WAS YOUR ACTUAL PLACE OF BIRTH?
Whangarei Hospital
TAEO'S BIRTH
I was two weeks over due and sent to Whangarei Hospital to have a stretch and sweep and talk about possible induction dates. I was not happy at the time about this, as before I had even reached my due date I was getting induction letters in the mail from Whangarei hospital (as my midwife had to notify them early because they don’t like it when you are left too late as it doesn’t work with their schedule) and with other family stress at the time I didn’t feel I needed to have people telling me that I was going to be induced before my due date was even reached.
After a stretch and sweep and a show later that day, I still didn’t start labour. My mother had also been induced with my brother and myself, and I felt like I was carrying some family curse of having to have an induction. As we were away from home two hours drive away, we stayed with my parents in law until my induction date 4 days later. That also didn’t make me feel very relaxed with them commenting on my giant belly and how I wasn’t covering it up as they did back in the 70’s.
8pm
I was induced at 8pm on the Monday night with progesterone gel and fell asleep. I woke at 11pm with my waters breaking. I think back now that I was lucky to have started labour then as some labours don’t start with the first induction. Labour started pretty much straight away after my waters broke with an intenseness and short sharp pains which increased with rapidness in a short space of time.
I know that if I hadn’t been induced that labour would have been a much slower pace. I rememeber feeling the contraction would heat up my body all over and I would take everything off, then I would be cold after the contraction was over and need to cover up. As I was induced at the hospital I had hospital midwives looking after me, as my LMC had eagerly signed me over to the hospital, and I was in their care. So I had one lovely pregnant midwife who induced me, then the shifts had changed. I then had a young English mid wife who had never had a child before with me while my labour started to kick in. I was asking her questions like “what is happening?” and “what is going to happenin?” Which she had no answers for as she told me, she didn’t know because she had never experienced labour. I started to feel a little bit ripped off that I had this mid wife who wasn’t much help looking after me. She tried to help me with the TENS machine which I ended up ripping off my back as I had to move around a lot. If I was lying down when a contraction started, I needed to get up. If I was up when a contraction started I needed to lie down.
I think she offered me the gas next which I couldn’t get my head around and didn’t like the concept. My partner on the other hand was all too keen to try. At some stage they offered me pethedine, 30mg which I didn’t want, but I needed something to take the edge off to help me relax as my body was getting tenser and tighter with every constraction, and the intensity became faster and faster. I felt like I couldn’t relax they were coming so thick and fast. The pethedine seemed to help, and was about the only medication I used in labour.
I was in the tub for a while, which was good, but quite far away from the labour room they had me in. The rooms are so cold and sterile, it makes it harder to labour in, when your body wants and needs softness. At some point I asked for a swiss ball to lean on, which was fantastic. And I wonder why the staff couldn’t offer things like this instead of only offereing pain medication as their only source of comfort?
8am
At 8am I had a nurse shift change and an Australian midwife came in.
“Have you had a baby?” I asked straight away needing some assurance. “Yes” she replied and I thought yah finally someone I can connect with.
But everytime I had a contraction “Good Girl” she would schreech at the end of every contraction and it would break my concentration so much that I would end up losing my center of control. I just wanted her to shut up, and I think it is hard to connect with someone walking into the middle of their labour when you haven’t met them before. I think she could see that I was getting frustrated with her and she would send in other people to talk to me. At one point she sent in an Obstretrican and a Student to talk to me about having an epidural which I had stated on my birth plan I did not want, as they said I was making too much noise, while I was going through a contraction they wanted me to have this conversation. I thought “are you kidding me? Im in labour I can’t talk to you”, so they said they would check me again at midday and if I hadn’t dilated anymore by then I would have to have an epidural. This was at 10am in the morning and my dilation was at 6cm. Then they pretty much left me alone to labour with my partner and my mum had turned up by then. I jumped back in the tub and was having trouble getting through the contractions and found sitting on the toilet in the squatting position with my knees lower than my hips helpful, and my mum helping me breathe through the end of the contractions by simulating the breathing, so I could copy her. She was a real life saver. I think the only person who made the effort to really try and get in there and connect with me. My partner was there the whole time as my rock, but he had never been with a woman in labour so it was all new to him.
11am
Finally at 10 past 11am I said I couldn’t take it any longer and I was going to give up and have the epidural.
The midwife was notified and the anesthetist was called.
Then a really lovely mid wife who wasn’t assigned to me but was asked to go and talk with me as the Australilan wasn’t working out, came and said “lets just check your dilation first before we go through with the epidural” “Wow you are 10cm!” she says.. Why did you not think to check me sooner I thought.
Ok great you can start pushing now.
The Birth
So I somehow manage to get into the delivery room and onto all fours and start pushing and my baby’s head didn’t take long before he came out. And the sensation of this is pretty much indescribable, a once in a life time experience. Like nothing else on earth, almost a connecting with something more beyond yourself and something spiritually.
But then his body didn’t come out.
The Australian was there and had the balls to know to push the emergency button straight away and the whole floor of staff rushed in from the pediatrician to the receptionsit. There were 20 people in the delivery room.
My body was jelly and all I could focus on was the baby at that point, and they all lifted my body up and flipped me onto my back and lifted my legs back, nice to meet you this is my vagina, and my baby came flying out. He had shoulder dystocia which is basically shoulders getting stuck and he was blue with the cord wrapped around his neck.
They cut the cord straight away and gave him some oxygen and his agapar score went from 3 to 9 in 10 minutes. I was a little stunned to know what was going on, but wow was it amazing to finally meet the little person who had been in my belly for so long.
We had a lot of latching problems and spent 4 days in hospital trying to get breastfeeding to happen, but he was born at midday after 11 hours in labour and the whole pushing birthing stage was about half an hour long.
I have to say the whole experience left me feeling like there was a lack of consideration and understanding in the system and in the communication of mid wife to mother to be.
If for example there is a reason for a procdure like induction, a full explanation should be given and decisions need to be made with the parents involved, not a automatic response to a late due date.
I think my experiences have lead me to follow a path which is not so well known in this country and I am currently studing to be a Doula, which is a woman who helps other women during labour with physical and emotional support. Helping her in the ways she needs and being with her through the experience from the beginning to the end. Im glad I didn’t have my LMC there with me as I feel she wouldn’t have been much help to me emotionally, so I now can see how important that extra little bit of support is for those going through this experience as a first time mother.
Things you would do the same?
I am glad we planned to have a home birth even though it didn’t happen for us, but to be able to make the decision and have the opportunity to do what you want gives you some sense of power of your own body and wishes, instead of feeling like all power and decisions have been taken away from you and lack of reasons or understanding has been given.
Things you would do differently?
Finding a midwife who I could connect with and trust is key to being able to have a conversation and come to conclusions where you feel your needs or best interests are being taken into consideration.
What advice would you reccommend to other Northland mums / families?
Make as many connections and friends as possible who you can talk to and who can offer you some support or help if you need it. To many times women do it alone who have no family near by or feel they have no one to ask for help. This is not how motherhood was ever meant to be in human societies. Motherhood is more of a community event which over time you will find the right people you can connect with and trust and share your experiences with.
