Our strong little fighter
2014
Third baby
Lived in: Paihia, Northland
WHERE WAS YOUR PLANNED PLACE OF BIRTH?
Whangarei Hospital
WHERE WAS YOUR ACTUAL PLACE OF BIRTH?
Whangarei Hospital
OUR BOYS BIRTH
Pregnancy
In July 2013 my partner had a serious illness that meant the possibility for him having children was slim to none. I already had 2 girls of my own who he loves very much. Cut a long story short, we had 2 weeks to get pregnant before our chance to conceive naturally could be gone. The pressure was on me to get pregnant, and quick! Low and behold we got pregnant within those two weeks! Relieved, we weren’t sure it was going to happen in time.
My pregnancy went well. It had been 8 years since having my 2nd baby so was extremely excited and happy to be pregnant again! I felt amazing! Had no problems throughout apart from morning sickness in my first trimester that felt like was never going to end. We also found out we were expecting a baby boy!
I had two independent midwives who I found great. I talked over our birth plan with them. I mentioned to my partner I wouldn’t mind the comfort of a home birth, but after I gave birth to my 2nd baby I had a retained placenta and lost close to 3 litres of blood. I was put under to manualy remove it followed by a blood transfusion, so precautions were made to give birth to our boy at Whangarei hospital, which I was happy with.
I was 8 days overdue. My midwife attempted to do 2 sweeps throughout the week but she couldn’t as he was still high up. I bounced on the exercise ball, took long walks along the beach trying to stir the little guy! My last baby was 3 days early so I thought he would probably be early too, so waiting for him was driving me insane! Couldn’t wait to meet him.
Early labour
I woke at 7.30 am on the 1st of May 2014 to a show, it was not like my other babies shows. It was rather watery compared so I rang the midwife. I was also having mild irregular contractions.
My midwife told me to ring later in the afternoon if nothing had progressed.
But as the morning went on the contractions got gradually stronger and rhythmic, I knew it was the beginning of labour!
I rang my partner at work around 12 lunchtime and told him that I would ring if I needed him or if I thought it would be time to head to hospital. I knew I just needed to wait out the contractions at home until they were closer together, stronger and longer. At this stage they were very mild. He rang me throughout the day and asked if I needed him but I was ok. Finding something to do, I went out the back and moved a whole lot of junk off our lawn that was going to the dump so when we got home from hospital my partner could just mow over the long grass that had jungled over it! I did think to myself I probably shouldn’t be doing this while I am in labour! Haha.
Transferring to hospital
By about 4 o’clock in the afternoon my partner finished work early and we decided it was time to head to Kawakawa hospital. From lunchtime my contractions had picked up and by now were rather sore. We met my midwife at Kawakawa hospital and she examined me and I was roughly 7 cm dilated. We were so excited! Our son would be here soon!
An ambulance was called and my midwife and I headed down to Whangarei hospital followed by my partner.
I was lying down on the stretcher in the ambulance and my contractions slowed right down, still strong but irregular and spaced out. As I breathed through them I watched the silhouette of the trees out the window as the sun was going down. I remember it so vividly. I was so extremely happy we were not long from meeting our baby boy! It was such a beautiful evening.
6.30pm
We arrived at Whangarei hospital at around about 6.30ish pm (if I remember rightly?) And as I walked to the delivery suit my contractions fired up again hard and fast!
Over the course of a few hours I did really well, my partner rubbed my back and I walked around through the contractions as I knew the gravity would progress my labour and I didn’t want to slow it down again by lying down, there was no way I was staying in labour all night! I tried for as long as could before I requested some gas and that took the edge off the contractions.
My midwife asked if I wanted to use the bath but I didn’t want to be wet for some reason.
The thought of feeling wet with water wasn’t appealing. (the things you wonder afterwards)
9pm
By about 9ish pm, I was 10 cm dilated and my midwife double checked that we wanted him brought up and placed on my chest for skin to skin snuggles as we were having baby very shortly! I couldn’t believe he was going to be here, in my arms, our beautiful little boy.
But unlike my previous births where I had the undeniable urge to push, my body didn’t feel that? which I thought was odd. I had a slight urge to bear down but nothing like I had with my girls.
I was told I could push now, so I pushed but I was pushing on my own accord, my body wasn’t doing it with me? Helping me. I pushed and pushed trying to get this little boys head out! I had a lot of back pain that made it sore.
With my daughters I pushed a couple of times and they were out, this time was a lot harder. I knew something wasn’t quite right. Why was it so hard to push his head down?! I gave it all I had and finally after roughly an hour or so his head was born. My midwife asked if I wanted to reach down and feel his head. I did, and his head was so soft! I fell in love instantly.
But when it was time for his shoulders to turn and for the rest of his body to follow… he didn’t. His shoulders didn’t turn, he was stuck! After putting me in numerous different positions to try and prompt him to turn his shoulders, my midwife called for the doctors, and all of a sudden the room filled with a dozen of doctors and nurses and with a sense of emergency, I had no idea what was going on.
They just said It was very serious, he was stuck and I needed to push! So I did and they pretty much ripped him out of me!
Our beautiful baby boy was born blue and not breathing. He needed resuscitating and they whisked him away up to SCBU. My placenta luckily came away this time with a few injections to help, but I started bleeding and they manually had to stop my bleeding by massaging my stomach and thankfully I didn’t need a blood transfusion.
My midwife came in and told us baby weighed 10 pound 15! I couldn’t believe it! No wonder he was so hard to push out. My midwife was just as flabbergasted at his size, as all my belly measurements throughout my pregnancy were good with no alarms of a big baby. I knew he was going to be a decent size but I never guessed he would weigh that much! Sadly she told us he wasn’t doing too well and he needed help breathing as he wasn’t breathing on his own.
Baby in SCBU, Whangarei Hospital
Hours passed and kept asking the nurses if I could see him and if he was alright. They just said I had to wait for the doctors to come and talk to us. I was nervous, I knew something was seriously wrong! I yearned for my baby, to cuddle and kiss him and to know he was ok.
Our little Jayjay receiving Cooling therapy.
Finally after what felt like eternity, 4 doctors entered the room with blank looks on their faces, I knew they had something horrible to tell me. They went on to say that he wasn’t breathing on his own and he needed help via a machine and he wasn’t responding well at all, he was limp and lifeless and looked as though he suffered some sort of brain injury, but could not tell us how severe.
At this time I was positive they were going to tell me they tried all they could, but he didn’t make it! The loss I felt for my child right that second is nothing I have felt before! I didn’t think I was returning home with our baby, I thought we were about to arrange a funeral. For those moments, I felt the grief parents feel when they have a lost a child, and it is indescribable. Thankfully they told us he WAS alive, but he was very poorly. I cried and cried and cried, we didn’t know what his outcome was going to be and that was very hard… the not knowing.
I just wanted him here with us, he was supposed to be here with us.
They told us he was stuck at the shoulders for approximately 10 minutes. During that time they believe his umbilical cord was squashed cutting oxygen supply and that they wanted to fly him down to National Womans hospital in Auckland for Cooling therapy treatment for three days in NICU (Neonatal intensive care unit). Cooling therapy, helps improve healing of the brain for oxygen deprived babies suffered at birth, by reducing their body temperature down to 33 degrees, which helps stop the brain from any further swelling and damage from the original injury. (Very hard to explain how it works as it is so complex, but I can say it is truly amazing!) You can not tell how severe or mild an injury is until they have woken up from cooling therapy.
It was all so confusing and I couldn’t understand thoroughly what had just happened, and what it was they were wanting to do. I was in shock.
We were finally able to go and see our baby for the first time after he was born, he was hooked up to a million machines and he was being prepped for his flight in the helicopter to Auckland. It was awful seeing our precious newborn baby like that but I knew he was going to the best place for him.
Baby helicoptered down to Auckland NICU
He was flown down 6 hours after he was born and my partner and I followed down the next day after they were satisfied I was stable to be transferred.
He received his cooling therapy and after 3 days we were able to hold him for the first time, we finally had our baby in our arms. I was able to breastfeed him too which was amazing!
He was improving in leaps and bounds every day, and was doing everything a newborn baby should have been doing. We were able to go home 11 days after he was born. At that point I was exhausted and wanted the comfort of our home to enjoy him, and come to grips with what had just happened and to be with my daughters and my partner, as a family.
We are very happy to say he is doing extremely well with no lasting effects from his rough start to life! Doctors believe it is that his injury was not severe to begin with. He had an injury but recovered from it with no lasting effects. The brain is an amazing thing and can re wire brain cells.
He is doing amazing!
Shoulder dystocia is the name given for shoulders that get stuck.
The statistics for it happening are low, so I don’t mean to alarm expecting parents out there. It is rare.
I am so thankful for an amazing midwife, who looked after me during and after labour. She was just as traumatised by it as we were, and his situation was the first time and hopefully the last time it happens to her.
I am forever thankful to the doctors and nurses that did all they could to help our little boy!
And for the support and reassurance of the nurses in NICU.
From his determination to be here to his determination to live.
He truly is our strong little fighter!
Things you would do the same?
My breathing techniques really helped me through contractions and knowing with every contraction I was progressing. Also just letting my body go with it.
Things you would do differently?
The only thing I probably would do differently would have to be buying some massaging oil so my partner could rub my back better! His massaging was good but I needed deep hard strokes that oil would of made alot easier and more effective.
What advice would you recommend to other Northland mums / families?
For Mama’s, listen to your body and go with it, breathe through contractions. I likened contractions to a wave building up, reaching its peak and then crashing and easing off. I visualised the wave and that helped heaps! Bit random but it worked! Haha.
Last but not least be kind to yourself, take it slow and take it day by day and enjoy your beautiful bundle!
