Where a Mighty Kauri Falls
a sapling shall grow
2012
Second Son
Lived in: Kerikeri, Far North
WHERE WAS YOUR PLANNED PLACE OF BIRTH?
Kawakawa Hospital
WHERE WAS YOUR ACTUAL PLACE OF BIRTH?
Kawakawa Hospital
OLIVER'S BIRTH
My father was in hospital on life support when I was in the last days of my pregnancy. Sadly he passed away on 4th April while I was in hospital having monitoring done due to my baby being under some stress.
My labour began on the day of his funeral at 5am. Probably brought on by the emotional stress that I was under during that time. By 6am my labour had stopped and I was sent home from Kawakawa to wait and see if it progressed.
I went home and fell into a deep sleep, having not slept well for the past week what with everything we were going through with my dad. At 10am I was woken by severe stomach pains and I knew that I was in full blown labour, so my partner Shayne rushed me back to Kawakawa. Unfortunately that day happened to be the big Pa Wars meet in Moerewa so as we approached the township we found ourselves blocked off by people walking and waving flags, kids on horses, truckloads of people, spectators, and vehicles backed up behind it all. I was nearly crying in pain by this time, so my darling put on his hazard lights and drove down the centre of the road with me trying my best not to scream in agony!
My midwife K was wonderful. She knew that it should have been a happy day for me, but with what I was going through, she knew it really wasn’t. She also knew I had 4 hours until dads funeral, and she was determined to do everything she could to get me there for his burial.
My little boy came into the world at 1.17pm - after a fast two hour labour helped greatly by the use of gas. After a homebirth with no pain relief for my first son Lochie, the gas was wonderful. So Oliver arrived in this world just as my father was leaving it. I remember looking down at him and crying.
My tears were not only of joy, there was great sadness as well, but I knew my son had been sent at that time to lessen our grief.
I didn’t make it to dads funeral in time for the actual burial, but I did manage to get out of bed, shower and drive up to Mangonui where I introduced my baby to his nana and my closest family members at the wake. It was an emotional, painful, wonderful time all rolled into one. I lost my father, but I gained a son. And I know that dad was there with me that day. I smelt his aftershave in the delivery room.
We named him Oliver William Edward after my dad.
I believe that my father send Olly to us on this day to lessen our pain. Our grief was so raw that without his arrival we could have so easily have been caught up in the sadness.
Today Oliver is a beautiful sunny happy little boy of 11months. He’s wonderful and reminds me of my dad with his dark hair, blue eyes, and laughter. I thank god for him every day, because he’s just a neat little soul and completed our family perfectly.
Things you would do the same?
I am glad we went to Kawakawa, as the facilities were lovely, the staff were fabulous, and I had gas.
Things you would do differently?
Nothing. This is our last baby, so what’s done is done, but if I had my time again, I would definitely use K as a midwife again, and go back to Kawakawa.
What advice would you reccommend to other Northland mums / families?
I will tell you not to believe the myths surrounding childbirth. Yes it hurts, but its not the worst pain I have ever had. I have had two children now, and both times went through the birth willingly…..however I have only EVER had HALF a bikini wax and would NEVER EVER have another one. Yes that’s right, I would have another baby if I could, but NO WAY would I ever go near anything below my eyebrows with wax again. Also, don’t let other people pressure you into doing something you are unsure of. Do what feels right. Relax. Have support from your partner or whoever. And above all, LOVE your midwife because SHE is what will get you through.
