Nevaeh's gypsy free birth
2013
Second baby
Lived in: Totara North, Kaeo, Far North.
WHERE WAS YOUR PLANNED PLACE OF BIRTH?
Kawakawa Hospital or Home Birth
WHERE WAS YOUR ACTUAL PLACE OF BIRTH?
Kawakawa Hospital carpark – that sounds nice doesn't it?
NEVAEH'S BIRTH
Pregnancy
It was my second pregnancy, I was pretty fit and healthy, almost too under weight and had to really eat more and put on the weight at the end, as running around after another kid keeps you from sitting around enjoying doing whatever you want. My midwife thought the baby was on the small side and after getting a vomiting virus and moving house around the 8 month mark, I was conscious of stress and how that was affecting my ability to relax and to get into a good space to bring this baby into labour and this world.
I was overdue again, as with my first baby Taeo, but this time the midwife I had was very natural focussed, who was allowing me time to slowly progress and didn't put any pressure on me to see an obstetrician straight away. I tried many different techniques to bring on labour. Relaxation/ hypnobirthing CD's, eating the core of pineapples, taking evening primrose oil internally orally and vaginally and a stretch and sweep and I have to say I think everything helped me to get the labour moving.
My last pregnancy I was two weeks over due and was induced. I had a midwife who was about as helpful as a slap in the face with a wet fish and plenty of family stress and confusion going on. I think the second time around I was prepared to be overdue again, as I believe this is how my body works with pregnancy, and tried not to take on board other people's stress and anxiety. Every single day over my due date, anybody that would ring or text me messages like “ So....?” “Where's the baby?” or “Aren't you overdue?” I would avoid contact with, as I don't find that helpful to keep my focus on getting my mind and body prepared and in a good space for labour. And its amazing how many people who I dearly love and respect would keep pestering me and not appreciate that I may want or need some time to go into an internal space at this time. People seem to get all in a frenzy when someone they know is about to have a baby.
Things are starting...
I started to have twinges and a very slowing down feeling come over me at about 9 – 10 days overdue. My body just seemed to drop to the earth and not want to move very fast. I didn't want to jinx myself by saying that I was in labour so I didn't go into detail with anyone about what I was feeling, as I know these things can come and go and then nothing can happen. I was getting really cranky with people and just wanted my space and to be alone to focus on relaxing, and I still had no idea what the feeling was like to go into labour naturally.
I went to bed on the night of day 10 and woke up at 1.30am with contractions. My plan was I didn't really have a solid plan about where I wanted to birth. At home I had a very large double tub which would be perfect to labour in, except it was outside and it was early spring and we were having some amazing storms. The night of my due date the most fantastic lighting storm hit and all power went out, all cell phone reception went down and a large tree went over blocking the road in my area. Luckily I didn't go into labour on my due date! So I was hoping for some hot water to labour in.
When the contractions woke me up I called my midwife who timed them and said they were 10 minutes apart and told me to ring her when they were 4 minutes apart.
I got up and started to get myself a hot water bottle and try to get warm as it was cold, there was no way I was going into the bath outside and it didn't look like my midwife was in a hurry to come to see me. As it is well over an hours's drive to Kawakawa hospital from my house, my partner and I started instinctively getting ourselves ready to go.
Off to the birthing unit
The van had already been transformed with mattress and blankets and we put a swiss ball in there as well. My mum and my son were at the home awake while I was rolling about the house in pain as the contractions were starting to kick in and come strong and fast. I was cold in the house and shivering. It does surprise me how much I react to the pain of labour, I really make a lot of noise like I'm in pain, groaning and screaming and wriggling around. Not like those videos you see of these serene women breathing through a contractions peacefully.
I couldn't handle being in the house with my mum and my son awake and watching me, so my partner and I decide to jump in the van and go. The van was great because I was warm and I couldn't go anywhere, just stayed in one spot and went through contraction after contraction and couldn't run away from the pain. I kept spraying a birth aid homeopath remedy in my mouth to hope to help with the pain, and I found out later on from my midwife that it actually speeds up contractions!
My partner tried to put on my hypno birthing cd in the van to calm me out, “NO!” I tell him... it says not to use while driving in case you relax too much while listening. Lost concentration in talking to him. We drive, I scream, I curse... it was perfect. I could just be myself and not worry about others being put out by my labour experience. We go through Kaeo, I look up I see lights... We go through Waipapa.... “Go to my midwifes” I shout through contractions. We call her, she asks if I feel like pushing. Pushing I think... no not until you said it did I feel like pushing. She says to continue on to Kawakawa. I feel lost. The pain is so intense and now I feel like pushing. I can't talk. Stop the van I yell. No he says we gota keep going. I get him to stop the van somewhere along the highway while he cleans me up a bit. Its cold and all I am wearing is a wooly jumper and a singlet hugging a swiss ball on the side of the road in the middle of the night.
We keep driving past the Kerikeri roundabout, past Pakaraka. We go down the Moerewa turntable and my waters break. I can feel the head as we drive through Moerewa and I can feel a beautiful round ball of head, perfect and Im holding on as I don't want to give birth to my baby on the side of the road. We go over the bridges at Kawakawa “Hurry Up! Stop!” I say “No Im not going to stop driving, hold on” he says. We drive up to the hospital, doh I forgot to show him where the maternity back entrance was.
Here she comes!
My partner asks the ambulance staff who are waiting outside if they can move the ambulance so he can park up the van. The head is coming and I can't hold on anymore. They open the van and the head is coming out and ambulance men who have never helped a women give birth before try to help me by holding my legs down. Back off I tell them, wanting help but not wanting that kind of help.My partner - bless his heart - doesn't know what to do so he gets his phone out and starts filming.
I'm screaming and making noise, but I push my baby girl out all by myself at 4.41am in the Kawakawa maternity wards carpark.I was a bit worried when her head came out as my last birth my son got his shoulders stuck, but she came fast and beautifully and all was perfect. I latched her on straight away as I had latching problems with the last child, as was waiting in the van for a while with the baby and the cord in tack before I transferred to a room in a wheelchair and then the cord was cut.
So all in all the active labour was around 3 hours long and I had no pain relief and no one there helping me out, just my trusty man driving and keeping me holding on until we could stop. I think had I gone to my midwives office I would have had time to birth with a bit more luxury and dignity, but in such fast action, not being able to talk and my partner talking to the midwife instead of myself, a bit of miscommunication happened.
Things you would do the same?
As unexpected as it seems, I actually really found labouring in the van the best place for me as I could be myself and make as much noise as I wanted, focus on the pain and no opportunity to run away from the pain as in a house or room I was constantly moving from one place to another to try and escape.
Things you would do differently?
If I could, what would I change with this labour / or next time around... I would have liked to have possibly birthed at my midwives office instead of driving all the way to the hospital and some people tell me I could have stayed home and had a home birth, but being cold increases the sensation of pain. With birth the unknown is always at play so its hard to guess what is going to happen. In that what happened was perfect.
What advice would you recommend to other Northland mums / families?
Do what is right for you and don't be afraid to stick up for your self. The birth of your baby is your such an important event to your self and your baby you want to make sure it's on your terms.
